It can be so empow-WOW-ering to say something nice about crap you would cross the street to avoid. Well, I would not be caught dead near either of these cinematic upchucks. My God, they were sooooo good!
“The suspense is so unbearable that when they say “No One Is Safe,” they are talking about the audience!” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com
.
.
“The Vow is about a coma and memory loss, so while watching this touching romance, have fun deciding which one of these conditions most applies to you!” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com
There’s always more Paul Maul lunacy to be found. Try some here.
It’s a red-letter weekend when two movies I wouldn’t go near arrive at once! And the great news is that they were both wonderful!
“The Sitter takes Jonah Hill and puts him in a movie!” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com
“When you see New Year’s Eve you will barely be able to contain your jaw-dropping awe at the things Robert DeNiro has been paid to do!” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com
I have very little incentive or desire to see this movie. I must also add that it was absolutely wonderful!
“What makes The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn such a gutsy new kind of vampire film is that they went and entitled it Breaking Dawn knowing full well that me and thousands of others would probably call it The Twilight Saga: Breaking Wind, and for that alone you must admire this brave film.”
Back in 1605 of this week, Guy Fawkes, determined to restore England to Catholic rule, was arrested after being part of The Gunpowder Plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament–while its aristocratic members, including King James I, were still inside. The event was the inspiration for the graphic novel and film V for Vendetta, the latter of which is notable mostly for the fact that Hugo Weaving reveals himself to be the least egotistical actor in the universe by appearing in a mask for the entire movie. It may also be the only film in which Natalie Portman is bald, but with her you’re never really sure so there could well be another shaved head Natalie Portman role out there that I’m forgetting.
And now, the event has become part of the rallying cry of the Occupy Movement, which certainly speaks to a rebellious spirit and the desire for a shift in the balance of power. Although whoever makes those V for Vendetta masks is probably reaping the rewards of a market economy at the moment. And if Black Swan has shown us anything, it’s that Natalie Portman can get just as bald emotionally as she can physically.
This is not to suggest that Guy Fawkes and his compatriots could have caught more flies with honey than with vinegar, but this all seems to be happening because some folks have been unwilling to get their Houses of Parliament in order and now their dysfunction is rippling out to the rest of the world like the silent, tense baggage that ripples underneath the turkey carving at a family Thanksgiving dinner. After that other House captured and tortured him, Fawkes decided to forego the indignity of being hanged, drawn and quartered by leaping from the gallows and breaking his neck in the fall. Bonfires are lit in his honor every November 5th, and he consistently makes the list of the top 100 most admired Britons of history. God bless him, at least he wasn’t one of those annoying passive-aggressive types.
Clearly, Fawkes represents a spirit of rebellion and even heroism that all of us feel and, in the fullness of history, ultimately admire. Just the same, if you want to avoid capture, torture and eventual suicide, make sure you take a look in the mirror before getting all up in someone else’s grill. Maybe you could wear a Guy Fawkes mask and pretend you’re Hugo Weaving.
A massive freak out occurred this week back in 1938 when Orson Welles’ Mercury Theatre On the Air dramatized H. G. Wells’ alien invasion novel The War of The Worlds as a radio play. Welles staged it as an actual news broadcast covering the domination of Earth by the flying saucer people and apparently the documentary feel caused more than a few listeners to make peace with their makers and prepare to kiss their area fifty-ones goodbye.
But we humans are like that. Give us an opportunity to believe in something cataclysmic and troubling and we will step out onto the front porch of our consciousness and let that door-to-door negativity salesman walk right into the house of our minds. The worst-case scenario is always a perverselyattractive one to us. Now, let somebody make a phony radio documentary about how a kindly group of selfless individuals are roaming around the country telling people that they can be free of needless stress and work toward real and lasting happiness in their lives. We would give that program five minutes before declaring it boring, laughable and worse, utterly improbable. And to be perfectly honest, it does sound like a goofy festival of new age sphincter-tightening awkwardness, but I was simply trying to think of an appropriate contrasting example. The point is, it is easier for us to believe, even if only momentarily, that disaster is on the way. It is tougher for us to believe, even momentarily, that everything will work out fine. And such a worldview is only substantiated by the fact that a 70-plus year old radio play that required us to use our imaginations to experience terror would one day be re-made into a movie that gives us no choice but to let Tom Cruise carry the story.
Nightmare scenarios are attractive and fun. I know I enjoy them. But I will try to accept the fact that there are dream scenarios out there, too. Besides, we’re living in a much more sophisticated age. An age wherein we can hardly fathom that audiences of old would think Martians had arrived to annihilate us just because somebody put the idea out into the media. You might as well try and convince people that a poor Nigerian man will suffer great hardship unless somebody kindly cleans out his or her bank account in increments for him. I mean, really.
I don’t have any plans to see this particular film. Did I mention how much I loved it?
“Real Steel is the greatest movie about a washed-up boxer teaming up with his estranged son to find redemption through making giant robots that kick each other’s asses since Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire.”
.
Back in 1605 of this week, Guy Fawkes, determined to restore England to Catholic rule, was arrested after being part of The Gunpowder Plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament–while its aristocratic members, including King James I, were still inside. The event was the inspiration for the graphic novel and film V for Vendetta, the latter of which is notable mostly for the fact that Hugo Weaving reveals himself to be the least egotistical actor in the universe by appearing in a mask for the entire movie. It may also be the only film in which Natalie Portman is bald, but with her you’re never really sure so there could well be another shaved head Natalie Portman role out there that I’m forgetting.
A massive freak out occurred this week back in 1938 when Orson Welles’ Mercury Theatre On the Air dramatized 
attractive one to us. Now, let somebody make a phony radio documentary about how a kindly group of selfless individuals are roaming around the country telling people that they can be free of needless stress and work toward real and lasting happiness in their lives. We would give that program five minutes before declaring it boring, laughable and worse, utterly improbable. And to be perfectly honest, it does sound like a goofy festival of new age sphincter-tightening awkwardness, but I was simply trying to think of an appropriate contrasting example. The point is, it is easier for us to believe, even if only momentarily, that disaster is on the way. It is tougher for us to believe, even momentarily, that everything will work out fine. And such a worldview is only substantiated by the fact that a 70-plus year old radio play that required us to use our imaginations to experience terror would one day be re-made into a movie that gives us no choice but to let Tom Cruise carry the story.
