I will not under any circumstances be wasting energy on a screening of this film in any form. Good Lord, it was so excellent!

“Every so often  it hits me: there is somebody named Taylor Lautner out there and he is, apparently, famous.” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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Won’t be venturing out to see this startling piece of celluloid. It was wonderful!

“You don’t have to be a 14-year old boy to appreciate Conan the Barbarian; simply having the mind of one will do!” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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I don’t really think I need to waste my time on this drivel. Dear God in heaven, it was fantastic!

“If the makers of Final Destination 5 are going to the trouble of finding ever-more creative ways to depict the implosion of the human body into a seeping mass of bulging, dislodged intestines and horribly mutilated flesh, the least you could do is show your appreciation by joyfully vomiting bile into your popcorn.”  – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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You know what? Sometimes you just can’t even keep up the pretense anymore. Do you even need me to tell you how suck-ass this cinematic turd is going to be?

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It is not likely that I will be using up any time viewing this film. It was a masterpiece!

“At first, I was, like, ‘Who do I have to blue to get out of watching this movie?’ But then I just sat back and enjoyed the blue job.” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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I believe this film has already occurred with Ms Kunis’ co-star from Black Swan and Ashton Kutcher, but that won’t stop me from adoring it to within an inch of my life! Plus, look how they are making a crude gesture representing intercourse in the poster! I’m in! (So to speak.)

“Friends with Benefits is the Citizen Kane of movies that have starred the chick who did the lesbo scene with Natalie Portman and the dude who was dry-humping Janet Jackson when her tit popped out.” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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I won’t be going anywhere near this film. Dear God, it was so wonderful!

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“The greatest thing about this comic book movie is that Captain America is very unlikely to end up as a problem-ridden Broadway musical with music by Bono (although Captain America: Bite Off the Light has a certain ring to it).” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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GOT SOME LINKS FOR YA!

Harry Potter, Deathly Hallows, Dumbledore, Chamber of Secrets, Hogwarts, Goblet of Fire, Quidditch, Muggle, Order of the Phoenix, Voldemort, Ron Weasley, Sorcerer’s Stone, Animagus, Hermione Granger, Hagrid, Azkaban,  Half-Blood Prince.

There.

That should do it.

Increased blog traffic, here we come!

Why, there’s all sorts of Paul Maul self-help lunacy. Check out some more!

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I have no immediate plans to put my eyeballs anywhere near this standard-issue raunch fest. Need I tell you how much I loved it? I absolutely loved it!

“This is one raunchy comedy that is so good, its makers weren’t even afraid to put the word ‘horrible’ in the title, certain that no critic would ever hoist them on their own petard by throwing the word ‘horrible’ back at them in a review (after all, movie critics have never taken advantage of such golden opportunities in the past).”  – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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It’s a big summer weekend for movies, and Paul Maul just couldn’t contain his enthusiasm for two films he will avoid like the plague, yet loves like the, um, whatever is a good contrast to the plague.

“Transformers: Dark Of the Moon is full of things that happen!” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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“In France, they love Trop Tards, which is why they were such big supporters of Jerry Lewis, and why they are sweet enough to think that Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts are still relevant in this delightful tale of second chances.” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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“And besides, romantic comedies with a guy’s name as the title are always good!” – Mr. Paul Maul, mrpaulmaul.com

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