Being in the glare of the spotlight, being in the media fishbowl, being a figure admired by millions, I can certainly relate to the kind of pressure that child celebrities must be under. Â Now that the young stars of The Wizards of Waverly Place and Hannah Montana have hit the big screen with The Perfect Game, Jake T. Austin and Moises Arias have clearly been wrung out emotionally by the expectations of success inherent in the Hollywood machinery. Â Why else would they call me personally to urge me to attend their film, to urge me to validate their identities by spending my money on their efforts? Â As you will hear, all traces of humility are gone as they tell me that their very appearance in this motion picture should assure me of its inherent greatness, even though it is based on a true story about a baseball team that achieved greatness in their own right through cooperation and teamwork. Â Â At any rate, here is the troubling message I received on my voicemail today:
Jake T. Austin and Moises Arias Call Mr. Paul Maul For Help
Guys, I wish I could call you back, but the screen said “unknown caller,” so I have no way of reaching you to reassure you that everything is okay. Â That you are both perfect and whole young men just as you are, quite apart from your achievement or lack of achievement in something as temporal as a glossy filmed entertainment. Â I don’t know who or what made you feel you had to seek me out for an affirmation of your self-worth, but please know I support your struggle for self-awareness. Even though I have no intention of seeing your movie.
HOLY CRAP! PAUL MAUL IS AVAILABLE IN BOOK FORM!--DOWNLOAD "SHOVE IT UPWARDS!" THE E-BOOK!
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April 25th, 2010 at 20:33
I support your just struggle to help the nation’s youth redefine its inner identity. Whatever that means.
April 26th, 2010 at 11:19
Paul, they’re practically begging you to join their entourage. Clearly, Jake and Moises’ handlers are not giving them the positive affirmation they need every forty-five seconds. You’d be better off counseling Justin Bieber because you can always take his batteries out when he gets too hysterical.
April 26th, 2010 at 11:57
Good luck saving our youth, it’s wonderful they felt comfortable reaching out to you!
April 26th, 2010 at 12:23
Perhaps I will be proactive with Mr. Bieber, batteries or no. These young stars need to join the entourage of self-worthdom. Thanks for all the insights, readers!
April 27th, 2010 at 20:56
Oh, so now you’re only available to help movie stars? You are such a typical Hollywood Guru! For shame on you, MR. M. Don’t forget about us little guys on your way to the big tent.
Thanks for listening.
April 27th, 2010 at 23:39
I hear your frustration, Zeke. But technically, this particular outreach from Hollywood was from the little guys.
May 24th, 2010 at 01:14
Isn’t “Disney Channel Stars” an oxymoron?
June 26th, 2010 at 14:17
…and in fact, isn’t “self-help” an oxymoron?