IF SHAMPOO WAS PEOPLE

If only some of the promises we expect of our personal hygiene products could be applied to our personal lives.

Ever since somebody came up with the idea that the more blades you put in a razor the more of your beard it can shave, personal hygiene products have made some pretty remarkable claims.  There’s time-release deodorants, whitening toothpastes and age-defying moisturizers.

As a culture, we seem to assign our products the helpful, positive, even mentoring roles we are too emotionally unavailable to supply for each other.  Nowhere is this more apparent than in the gazillion different kinds of shampoo and the various promises they make regarding a better life through hair.   You have to hand it to shampoo in general: this is the industry that sold us the whole “lather, rinse, repeat” thing.  An industrious way indeed to get us to use twice as much of their product than necessary with every shower!   Here, then, is a look at the way shampoos lead by example when it comes to positive self-help messaging.  No more tears, people!

VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO

I’m not even sure ‘volumizing’ was a word before the existence of hair care products, since all the definitions of the term I found mention hair as a reference point.  But let’s consider how a little psychological ‘volumizing’ can aid us in our quest for personal wholeness.  If you apply a product to your head in the hopes of making your locks appear fuller, more alive, more touchable, why not consider ‘volumizing’ your own approach to the way you live your life? Expand your mind to let in new ideas (fuller), give in to the urge to celebrate another day of existence (more alive) and let real affection in by not putting up walls that keep people out either emotionally or physically (touchable).

SHAMPOO LIFE LESSON #1Jesus, we’ll spend money to help our hair have a richer, fuller more approachable existence, but we won’t  frickin’ step up to do it for ourselves?

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CLARIFYING SHAMPOO

Everyone knows we have to get clear on what is holding us back internally before we can progress in our relationships, in our careers, or simply in our own personal growth-ness.

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SHAMPOO LIFE LESSON #2 – If we are moved enough to ‘clarify’ our damn hair, what’s holding us back from clarifying our issues?

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ANTI-BREAKAGE SHAMPOO

Obviously, it fills one’s heart with dread to think that part of one’s hair could be, God forbid, broken.  And we will take any step we can to make sure that our tresses remain intact.

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SHAMPOO LIFE LESSON #3 – If we put as much thought into keeping ourselves from breaking as we put into keeping our hair from breaking, perhaps we wouldn’t need Dr. Phil to tear us a new one so often..

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FUDGE TORTURE TONIC SHAMPOO?

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SHAMPOO LIFE LESSON #4 – No comment.

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10 Responses to IF SHAMPOO WAS PEOPLE

  1. Carl says:

    If shampoo was people, the world would be a cleaner place.

  2. Uddy-Jean says:

    Oooo-lala! All zis talk about ze shampooing has me in a lather!

  3. Warren Harkins says:

    I like fudge.

  4. A conditioning shampoo for the mind? I worry about anything that might smooth out the twisted wrinkles of my cortex…

  5. And what of the cult of “baby shampoo”, those adults who continue to use a product marketed for infants under the tag line “no more tears”. Aren’t they guilty of postponing the inevitable slings and arrows of outrageous hair care?

  6. Deena Kamm says:

    you’re going to run for president, right? THIS is the kind of forward thinking I want out of my leaders.
    BTW – I’ll be trying out the torture shampoo. Looks good.

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