Ever since the first pilgrims  sat down to make a bunch of promises to the Native Americans at roughly this time of year, our nation’s thoughts have turned to making a wintertime tally of those things for which we are most grateful.   Here are mine:

1. Good health.
2. The poorer health of my competitors. (Just kidding, Deepak!)
3. Mad Men.  A primer on how failing to come to a sense of emotional wholeness before achieving outward success can devastate one’s professional and personal life.  And on how smoking is cool.
4. The kindness of others, especially those poor, naive souls who do not expect anything in return.  One less follow-up call is fine by me, sucker!
5. My vast assortment of friend.
6. My children.  Children are truly our teachers.  And we pay them next to  nothing, just like real teachers.
7. The seasons.  Lest we get too caught up in the thrall of our ambitions, the seasons bring a happy reminder from God that life itself begins in the promise of springtime and ends in a cold, frigid death.
8. People whose opinions are different from mine.  They help me to learn that when I say magnanimous things about how much I value people whose opinions are different from mine I am actually full of crap.
9. Lady Gaga.
10. Food, clothing and shelter.  Because when all is said and done, what else do we truly need?

10a. The Internet

10b. Some kind of handheld wireless device.

10c. A flat screen TV.

10d. With HD of course.

10e. Seriously, once you watch football in HD, forget it.

10f. Some kind of vehicle to help me sublimate my inadequacies.

10g. A really good wine aerator.

10h. One of those globe things for the office. They’re awesome.

10i. All the James Bond movies on Blu-Ray.

10j. That device that lets you warm up the car while you’re still in the house.

AND REMEMBER, IF YOU’RE HALF AS GRATEFUL FOR ME AS I AM FOR YOU, THEN I’M TWICE AS GRATEFUL FOR YOU AS YOU ARE FOR ME!

HOLY CRAP! PAUL MAUL IS AVAILABLE IN BOOK FORM!--DOWNLOAD "SHOVE IT UPWARDS!" THE E-BOOK!

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